


Training Percy

by leigh_adams



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drunkenness, F/M, Gen, Humor, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-29
Updated: 2011-12-29
Packaged: 2017-10-28 09:56:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/306653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leigh_adams/pseuds/leigh_adams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Percy learns the hard way what happens when he says no to Katie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Training Percy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fiery_flamingo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiery_flamingo/gifts).



> This is fiery_flamingo 's belated birthday present! Happy late birthday, Sam! It's also a product of what happens when you watch [this video](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3zU2IcVzbc) on repeat. Anyway, enjoy the madness!

"Absolutely not!" Percy's voice was absolute in his decision, though his face was tinged the most adorable shade of red as he stared, aghast, at the monstrosity his girlfriend had laid out on the bed for him to wear. "I will not step one foot outside this house wearing _that_!"

"But _Percy_ " Katie wheedled from the doorway, her lips turned downwards in a small, petulant pout. "It's a fancy dress party. You _have_ to dress up."

"Then I will dress as Aristotle or Socrates or Galileo," he said pompously. "I will not be made a mockery of in an outfit such as this."

Pushing off the door frame, his dark-haired girlfriend moved across the room and wrapped her arms around his waist. "You won't," she promised, going up on tiptoe to nibble on his jaw. "Don't you want to please me, Percy?"

One hand slid around his hip to his bum and she gave a gentle squeeze. "I can promise," she murmured suggestively, "that I will make it worth your while when we get home..."

Percy squeezed his eyes shut, trying to ward off the memories of the last time she'd promised to make it worth his while. In their hurry, they'd both forgotten to throw up the silencing charms on his office.

He hadn't been able to look Minister Shacklebolt in the eye for _weeks_ after that.

"I don't think so, Katie," he said finally, his voice wavering but his mind made up. "I'm sorry, I won't do it."

His girlfriend pulled away and stomped her foot, her lips pursed. "Fine," she said, summoning her [short pink dress](http://www.promgirl.com/_img/PRODUCTS/500/PromGirl-389879309.jpg) and [matching fairy wings](http://s204849430.websitehome.co.uk/ebaypics/butterfly-fairy-wings-light-pink.jpg) from her closet. "I'll just go alone, then, since my boyfriend doesn't care enough about me to shove his pompous fastidiousness to the side for _one bloody evening_!"

Percy winced and reached out to draw her back to him. "Katie..."

"No!" she huffed, moving out of his reach. "Don't touch me. I have a party to get ready for!" She flounced to the door, pausing in the frame to turn and throw out, "And just so you know, you can sleep on the sofa tonight."

With that, she slammed the door behind her.

He stared at the wooden door that was practically _mocking_ his pain. "It's all good and well for her, she always looks perfect in whatever she wears. And she doesn't have twin brothers who're just _waiting_ for her to slip up so they can mock her from now until the end of eternity."

When the door didn't answer, he sighed and turned his gaze back to the outfit that had started this whole mess. It looked so innocent, lying there, yet Percy knew it was nothing but trouble.

"I'll have you know that I've never worn an animal print in my life," he muttered with a baleful look at the shirt. "Nor have I worn gold metallic leather pants."

The clothes, unsurprisingly, didn't respond. If they had, though, they probably wouldn't have been shocked by Percy's statement.

"Did she honestly think she could make me wear this?" he mused aloud. He already knew the answer, though. _Yes_. Katie had an uncanny knack for pushing him out of his comfort zone. Thanks to her influence, he'd stolen a swan from the pond at St. James' Park, gone skinny dipping in the Thames, eaten nothing but sugar for an entire day, and actually skived off work without calling in. Without a doubt, Katie Bell was the craziest person he knew.

She was also the love of his life, which was why she got away with all the things she did. Such as the outfit that he was about to don to please her.

"Fred and George better have Firewhiskey," he muttered as he dropped his trousers.

  


*~*~*~*~*~*

There were knives pricking his eyelids, he was sure of it, and the Weird Sister's drummer was practicing his beats on Percy's brain. That was the only explanation for the _shattered_ way his head was feeling when he woke up.

Percy blinked, slowly opening his eyes before he squeezed them shut again and pulled the blanket up over his head. _Too bright_. He couldn't look at the light, it hurt his eyes so badly.

 _What the bloody hell happened last night?_

"Good morning, my little sunbeam!" An entirely too cheery Katie waltzed into the room, bearing two mugs of steaming hot coffee. "Rise and shine, it's a beautiful day!"

"Mmmmfrffferrrrrr," was the muffled answer she received from the lump beneath the covers.

She snickered and sat the coffee down on the bedside table. A small part of her felt bad for the obvious pain her boyfriend was in, but the major part couldn't stop laughing at the memories from the night before. She'd _never_ seen Percy as smashed as he'd been at the twins' party, nor had anyone else from what she'd learned from the other Weasley siblings.

Needless to say, they all now had plenty of blackmail for whenever their esteemed brother decided to run for Minister of Magic.

Katie sat down on the bed and reached for the covers, yanking them off to reveal her boyfriend, still wearing last night's outfit and curled in the fetal position. "Hallo, poppet."

"Why in Merlin's name are you so bloody cheery?" he rasped, eyes still closed. "This is all your fault, woman."

"My fault?" Katie asked innocently, batting her big brown eyes at him while, at the same time, her lips twitched into a wicked smirk. "How is this my fault, darling?"

"You picked out this...this...these clothes," he stuttered, finally opening his eyes enough to squint accusingly at her.

She laughed. "I may have picked them out, love, but you're the one who drank _all_ of Fred and George's special stock of Firewhiskey," she reminded him. "You're the one who decided to dance like a cowboy on top of the piano."

"I did not," he growled; on the inside, though, he was frantically racking his mind for memories of last night. The only problem was... there were none.

"Oh yes, my love, you did. You also gave Angelina a lap dance, which I believe Fred recorded on that Muggle camcorder he's been tinkling with, and then proclaimed to the entire party that you were ready to take me home and ravish me until we couldn't have sex anymore."

Percy shot up, immediately regretting his hastiness as his head started to spin. "You're making this up," he accused as he grabbed at his head, massaging his temples in an effort to soothe the raging beast inside.

Katie merely handed him a snapshot, one of many that had been taken the night before. "Obviously, I'm not."

His eyes widened in horror, and he immediately dropped the snap. "Oh Merlin, no," he breathed. "No no no no no." The picture showed the prior evening's incarnation of himself, prancing about the room in his gold leather pants and leopard-print shirt, singing some Muggle song called "Copacabana" and shaking his hips in a manner that had probably meant to be enticing but really came off as frightening.

" _Oh_ yes," was Katie's reply.

He glared at her. "Why do you hate me so, woman?"

She pouted and reached out, placing her hands at his temples. "I don't hate you, love, but really, you shouldn't have pitched a fit about the outfit."

A small groan slipped his lips as she started to rub at his pounding head. "But you _knew_ I didn't want to wear it!"

"Percy, sweets, it was a joke," Katie said softly. "Until you _insisted_ you weren't going to wear it, then it was punishment. I had another outfit ready, but I wanted to see the look on your face when I showed you this one. But then you put it on, so I thought, 'What the hell?' You should wear leather more often, by the way. It makes your arse look fantastic."

"It was a _joke_?" he rasped incredulously.

Katie smiled and leaned in to place a soft kiss on his forehead. "That'll teach you to argue with me," she murmured sweetly. As she slid off the bed, she said, "Get some more sleep, as I'm quite put out that you were too wasted when we got home to give me that complete and thorough shagging I was promised."

Percy watched her go with horror, waiting until she'd shut the door behind her before he dropped back onto the bed with a groan. Maybe, if he just went to sleep, it'd all turn out to be just a bad dream when he woke up.

Little did he know about the mountain of owls that were waiting on him in the living room.


End file.
